Moving into the Future
Marriage and Introductions
Farid gave the couple a quick tour of the few well furnished rooms of their new home, and then left Asenath and Joseph alone in the great room just beyond the entry way, closing the door behind him.
The two strangers stood alone in the open space in the center of their new home. The silence of the room was deafening.
Facing his new wife, Joseph smiled and said, “I am Joseph.”
Asenath had been uncertain of what to do in this new situation, but she could at least respond in kind. Hers was a flat statement without expression. “I am Asenath.”
Joseph motioned for his wife to sit on one of the chairs in the large living space, and he sat directly opposite her.
“When I woke this morning, I had no idea that the king had arranged this marriage. Surely, this is not what you had envisioned for your first day of marriage, a stranger as your husband.”
Asenath’s reply was quick and to the point. “The son of the priest of Thebes was to have been my husband. We would have married at the Feast of Amun in Thebes this year.” Her tone was accusatory, as if to say, “If not for you….”
“I apologize that your plans have been so disrupted. Did you love this man?”
Asenath’s expression seemed to harden as she drew a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Joseph realized as she began speaking that she was exasperated with her situation, at a loss to understand the sudden redirection of events, perhaps even unsure as to which feelings she needed to express. And he could empathize with her in this.
“I am daughter of the chief priest of On. Do you not know that my father would marry me to whomever gave the best offer of money or power?
“When the arrangement was made, I was 16, but the son of the priest was only 14. We were to wait two years, until he came of age. He would have been as much a stranger to me as you are, for I met him only that one time, two years ago.
“But the king made my father a better offer, one he could not refuse, apparently. So here I am. If I have the title of wife, you see that my freedom is less than that of a slave, for they can choose who they marry.”
Realizing that he again had looked at the situation from only his point of view, Joseph replied with genuine sympathy, “Indeed, you have endured much. For a woman of spirit and intelligence to be treated so callously, to be allowed no input as to your future, is cruel.”
Asenath had expected denial of her complaint and insistence that this was the order of the world. Somewhat softened by the calm and sympathetic response, she tried to match her husband’s tone, but her protest was not finished.
“I was to have had a husband who was young, close to my own age.” Again her voice softened to a slightly more conciliatory tone, one that said the situation could have been worse. “At least my father has not sold me to a gray haired old man.”
Joseph could not help but smile, having been condemned by this faint praise. He was at a loss as to how to move forward. Indeed, he seemed to be losing ground.
“Asenath, we are here at this time joined as husband and wife through no fault of our own. We each must satisfy the one to whom we owe our debt, you to your father, and I to the king.
“Tell me what you would desire in a husband, be it the son of the priest or any other man. Be honest with yourself and with me.”
After a moment’s consideration, she sat up more erectly, her head raised higher, to show that she was as firm as her speech. “You ask for truth, then I will speak so.
“I would have a husband who was an Egyptian, not a foreigner from the east.
“And he would be a free man of the noble class, and not a slave.
”And he would have wealth with his position. You did not even have the bride price for my father, but the king had to pay it for you.”
She eyed him up and down and added, “I have heard that you own nothing. Even the clothes you wear have been given to you!”
Raised among the wealthy of Egypt, and having led a sheltered life among those of her own class, Joseph realized that he should not be surprised at her response. And yet he was surprised, and disappointed, as well.
“Thank you for the candor of your response. You have spoken of what you do not desire in a husband, but you have said nothing of the qualities of his person.”
“Am I mistaken, or did I not answer your question truthfully?”
“Being born in another land, or being a slave owned by another, or how much wealth one possesses. none of these speaks to the character of the person.
“My father is comparable to the priest of Thebes, and my status as a slave was the result of time and chance. Your judgment is harsh based only on outward appearances, the place of my birth and my assignment to the class of a slave.
“Truth is a hard thing, and is to be given paired with mercy.” He smiled. “Thanks to my advanced years, the hardness of truth and the gentleness of mercy are things I have come to understand.”
Asenath was somewhat regretful of the harshness of her comments, but she would not back down from them. “You asked for truth, not mercy.”
Nodding, Joseph replied, “So I did.”
He rose from his chair and stepped back a few paces, then stood facing her, his eyes focused on her brown eyes. Beneath the mask of her makeup and adornments, she appeared to be a natural beauty. Her outward appearance was favorable, but his desire was to see her character.
““For now, I have a task to accomplish and I must perform the work that I have been given. Do you have any possessions coming, and perhaps a woman who is your servant or companion?”
“Yes, my father is bringing my clothes and personal items today. He also will bring my companion, Tem. She is only slightly older than I and has been with me for many years.”
“Good. Let us bear this state of marriage for two years, and we will have fulfilled the obligations to your father and to the king. Then we can dissolve the marriage. I understand that this is an easy process, and the wife benefits in accordance to what her husband possesses. Today, I do possess the clothes that I wear, although nothing more. Perhaps in two years there will be something to share with you, for I understand the Egyptian woman receives much when there is a divorce.”
Asenath kept trying to interrupt, and Joseph put a finger on her lips.
”But for now, I ask you to do one thing. Ask your father to tell you of your birth. When you do this, mention the name of Teyma. Your father will understand. Will you do this?”
“Yes, but….”
During this speech, Asenath’s expression had changed. She seemed to be trying to protest, but Joseph continued to speak over her.
“I will return this evening, and we will give the appearance of a married couple. You will tell me how your father has answered your question. For now, I leave you to prepare for your companion and your possessions.”
Asenath spoke his name as if to say something more, but Joseph was already walking toward the door.
“I look forward to seeing you later,” he called as he looked back over his shoulder, and then he turned beyond the doorway and was out of sight.
Joseph proceeded to the area where he and Potiphar were to meet with the other men summoned to plan the strategy for the future.
From Dreams to Plans
Everyone else was present when Joseph arrived. The room was the same room used by the king in meeting with those few who reported directly to him.
Cooling vents low on the wall adjoining the indoor garden brought in air that exited through the high windows on the outer wall. A large table with ten chairs in the center, and several more chairs against the wall, were the primary furnishings. Drawings of gods in various poses, often representing some manifestation of power and victory, adorned the walls.
The men were seated around the table and in deep discussion as Joseph entered. There were three empty chairs. One empty chair was larger and ornate, obviously the king’s place. Captain Potiphar, who occupied the next chair, rose when he saw Joseph enter.
“I am surprised to see you, Joseph. Having been joined to a bride this morning, your absence for the day would have been understood.”
“There is a saying that there is a time and a place for everything under the sun. Here is my place for this time.”
“You will not receive any argument from me. Allow me to introduce you to those you do not know already.
“General Djar you have met.”
The man seated next to Potiphar rose. At first glance - the jet black wig that he wore, along with the eye makeup characteristic of the Egyptians and his impressive military uniform – all gave the man the impression of a dashing young officer. A closer look showed the ravages of time had left its marks in disguised wrinkles and sagging muscle.
The general smiled and nodded, and Joseph responded in kind.
“General Djar has offered the services of Meri-ptah for training and supervision of security for the project. The general will be on alert should larger forces be required.
“Meri-ptah you already know, of course.
“Neferu is over royal construction projects. His second in charge will oversee construction of the vast amount of storage necessary for seven years accumulation of grain.
“Sebek-khu will handle transportation.
“Khusebek will procure the necessary building and transportation materials.”
Each of the men rose and exchanged bows with Joseph as they were introduced.
“Irsu, whom you also know, is chief scribe and will coordinate the necessary record keeping.”
With introductions out of the way, Joseph took the unoccupied chair between across from Potiphar on the other side of the king’s chair.
“We will consider the king to be present whether he is seated in his chair or not,” said Joseph. “Each of us serves at the king’s pleasure, and we will obey his instructions.
“The first order of business is to ensure one-fifth of each harvest goes into storage each of the seven years, and that this supply must remain under the king’s firm control. When the lean years begin, the people in the areas, the mayors of the cities, and the heads of each nome, will look on the food in storage as their own. If any local group takes hold of the storage, the supply will be exhausted before the end of the famine. Permission to release from storage is only according to the king’s order and accomplished only by his representatives.
“With this directive in mind, let us begin.”
The discussion went into well past dark, dinner being served to them while they continued.
The number and locations of the storage sites were established first, and this took the largest part of the time. Irsu’s information on the normal amounts of grain in each region and the location of population centers provided the basis for the decisions.
Once the number and location of the storage centers had been established, plans for the procurement of materials for construction and the necessary transportation arrangements could be determined.
Thus the hours passed, progress gaining momentum as the individuals involved became less concerned with priority for their own areas of interest. Self-interest waned and collaboration waxed.
Joseph adjourned the meeting when, some two hours after dusk, the broad outline of the plan was visible. They resolved to continue with details the next morning after the report to the king.
Truth and Mercy
Joseph had only a short walk to his new residence.
Extra cushions had appeared since his first visit to the great room earlier in the day. Candles had been placed on tables, and with the sconces on the walls added much needed light. A small carpet centered beneath the chairs drew the seating area together. These were the first evidences of the space becoming inhabited.
Asenath occupied the same chair as earlier, apparently waiting for his return. She introduced Tem, a woman with very long black hair, her makeup and dress in a style similar to Asenath’s.
Tem stood and bowed with great respect. “I was keeping Asenath company until your return. I will retire for the night.”
Tem bowed again and went into one of the extra bedrooms.
After only a brief moment’s awkward silence, Asenath made an attempt at conversation with this stranger who was her husband. “Did your meeting go well?”
“Yes. We made progress and will continue tomorrow.” Joseph sat on the chair vacated by Tem. “You have had dinner?”
“Yes,” replied Asenath, her brief response not helpful toward easing the awkwardness of the moment
“I am glad to see that you have added some personality to this great space, to make it more welcoming and comfortable,” said Joseph as he eyed the living space.
“I have begun to do so. There is relatively little that I have to bring, and I understand that your circumstances did not allow an accumulation of goods.” She smiled, more warmly than she had at any point earlier in the day, and added, “So we may have to find some additional items to give this place the character of a home.”
“You have made a good start. Have you ideas on what you would like to have here?”
She laughed. “Of course Tem and I talked about that for quite a while.”
Asenath became more serious. “As you directed, I asked my father about my birth. He started to give me the same story that he had told me long ago, but when I asked how Teyma fit into the narrative, he stopped.
“He grew quite angry, his face very red, and I began to have some fear. He started yelling, refusing to answer, but then he suddenly became quiet. He seemed to grow limp, as if he had surrendered to some powerful force, and I thought he was going to cry.”
She paused. Her voice became very soft as she wiped an unseen tear from her eye.
“He said that there had been no reason for me to know of my birth in the east and that I had been brought to Egypt by the trader, Teyma, who had found me. He had sought to shield me from this and had given me a new identity based on his name.”
Asenath paused, her voice had become shaky and now the tears she had fought to hold back flowed freely.
“I am not who I thought I was,” she sobbed, her voice rising. “I am not certain who I am anymore!”
She was sobbing uncontrollably now, hardly able to breathe. Joseph moved over beside her, squatting next to her and putting his arms around her as she wept in her chair.
“You are Asenath, and you have become the woman of 18 years of age that sits weeping in this chair. Your past has brought you to the person you have become, and you will determine the person you will be in the future.”
Asenath slowly began to calm down, her sobs less violent, her breath returning.
As she sat upright, she pushed Joseph’s arm from around her shoulder. Slowly she looked up at his face through bloodshot eyes, tear streaks bordered with black eye makeup having traced their way down her cheeks.
For a brief moment, Joseph saw her vulnerability and openness as she traversed the space between her old identity as Egyptian noble and her as yet undefined new identity. He longed to help her across the divide, but only she could make the journey.
Her soft expression of only a moment before hardened to anger as she struggled with the events of the day.
“Why did you have to come into my life?” Her voice continued to rise as she moved further from him as if to be better positioned to strike out. “Why could I not just marry the man to whom I was betrothed in Thebes?
“And who are you to reveal secrets that were never meant to come to light? Is that what truth is, the destruction of 18 years of life for some fact that had become irrelevant?”
Joseph remained seated although Asenath had risen and was now standing over him. Her first remarks had been addressed to the universe, but the last were aimed directly at Joseph. The torrent of questions demanded no answers, for she knew there were none. They were protests against what she now knew and could never forget. She railed against this new truth because they had destroyed her foundation leaving her identity buried somewhere in the rubble.
Taking a breath and looking directly at him, she folded her arms as she looked down upon him. “Well, wise Joseph? Have you no response, have you no wisdom for the woman you have laid bare as false?”
She turned and walked away a few steps, then began pacing back and forth, whether to calm herself or to launch again into new charges, Joseph could not tell. Reason was not the solution, a mistake he had made too often. He must assuage her emotions, her feelings of betrayal and fear.
“I apologize for the pain that I have caused. Your life had been on a path of certainty and security, a future you could foretell. You were at peace with what was to be, and I have destroyed that peace.”
Again, Joseph’s display of understanding rather than defensiveness disarmed her, catching Asenath off guard, disarming her of her anger against him to some degree. She continued to pace, but more slowly, clearly calmer than a moment earlier.
Joseph remembered himself at 18. Looking back, he saw the boy with a coat of many colors, a peacock strutting through the fields, oblivious to the realities of the people and world around him. Until today, Asenath had been like that boy strutting through the fields, full of her image of herself and lacking any larger perspective.
“You are a beautiful woman of great intelligence. If learning of your past has destroyed the predictability of your future, will you not rise and make your new future a better one?”
She paused in her pacing, turning squarely to face Joseph. “Tell me – how am I to do that?” Her tone was more defiance than a plea.
In the midst of her uncertainty, she wavered between the identity that no longer fit and the identity that was as yet unknown. Joseph could see that fear, a violent and unpredictable emotion, dominated.
“Truth and mercy are paired together for a reason. Truth is hard, and no truth could be harder than the one you have discovered.
“Mercy for yourself is the antidote for this truth. What you know now empowers you to a greater understanding of yourself and other people. And as you extend mercy to yourself, you will find the extension of mercy to others to flow more easily.”
She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
Joseph realized that he had again gone to the logic of the situation with his talk of truth and mercy. How long had it taken him to discover his new identity? And that discovery had come less through rationality than the emotions engendered by his experiences. He thought particularly of the first week with Teyma, the surreal experiences that had fueled discovery of who Joseph had been and was to become. What would be Asenath’s path to self-discovery?
“Our identity is the work of a lifetime,” replied Joseph. “A small part of your identity has been undermined by your new knowledge. You feel as though the legs on which you were standing have been pulled from beneath you.”
Joseph stood and walked to stand beside her, not in front of her.
“You feel betrayed and alone, as if your past has been false.
“Your father concealed your past to protect you, to allow you to grow in a richer field to the fully formed flower that you are.
“The truth has been made known to you. You were protected from this knowledge until you were ready to become the bloom intended from the beginning.
“Truth has enlarged your borders, and mercy will soften its edges.”
Facing the wall and with Joseph beside her, Asenath wiped tears from both sides of her face.
“You speak so calmly of something that is so – so devastating, terrifying.”
“Only because I have been where you are now. And I will warn you, that the transition from who you were to who you will be is not accomplished in a day but in a lifetime.” He winced at himself for this less than reassuring truth.
Although tinged with some bitterness, Asenath laughed for the first time. “Is that supposed to be encouraging?”
“I should have said that you soon will find peace with the new person you are becoming and left it at that.”
“I will take that thought. It sounds like truth tempered with mercy.” At last, there was the hint of a smile.
She finally turned to face Joseph. “The most terrifying thing is that I can never go back to who I was. Now that I know, things can never be the same between me and my father, or even between me and my intended husband who I met only the one time. It would all seem false.”
“That is what a lie does,” said Joseph, as he reached across and placed a hand on each of her shoulders. “It shows us a false world, and we adapt to the lie. Adjusting to truth is hard, but that is only temporary. Already you are becoming confident as the person you know yourself to be.
“Who we are inside is a truth that cannot be shaken by the truths we learn as we go through life. We are constantly adapting as we incorporate new truths, and we grow to be the people God intends for us to become.”
She removed his hands from her shoulders and took her hands, holding them gently in the space between where they stood.
“Joseph, I am tired. I do not think I can take any more truth today. Can we save new truths for tomorrow and just go to sleep?”
“Of course. This has been a day full to overflowing.”
Joseph walked with her toward the room where their mats and light covering lay joined together. When he saw them, he said, “I will bring my mat out here.”
“Thank you,” she said, her voice conveying her tiredness.
Only moments were required for Joseph to move the necessary items into the great room for him to sleep. The ventilation and high ceilings maintained a comfortable temperature in the apartment, only barely on the warm side. This would be sufficient for the night. Besides, he could not very well go alone to the roof on his wedding night.
He arranged the mat so that he could see the stars above through the high windows. In spite of the hour and all of the activities of the day, sleep did not come quickly.
His mind kept jumping tracks, unable to focus on either the grain storage issue or his sudden move to freedom and then marriage. And turning off all thought was impossible.
He began to focus on how to integrate the two halves of his life so that he was present to the appropriate half when he was in that arena. Thinking of his life as two halves suddenly appeared as the absurdity that it was. Clarity struck like a slap on the side of his head.
He was a single person created by God. The command had been to be joined together so that they become one, become a single whole. His physical body, his mind, and his relationship with God had become one. This was necessary with Asenath, as well. Now he had the opportunity to create the larger wholeness that was to be Joseph, son of Israel.
This turned out to answer the question of sleep because the next thing he knew was that he opened his eyes to a room already bathed in the sun’s light.
Continue reading
Marriage and Introductions
Farid gave the couple a quick tour of the few well furnished rooms of their new home, and then left Asenath and Joseph alone in the great room just beyond the entry way, closing the door behind him.
The two strangers stood alone in the open space in the center of their new home. The silence of the room was deafening.
Facing his new wife, Joseph smiled and said, “I am Joseph.”
Asenath had been uncertain of what to do in this new situation, but she could at least respond in kind. Hers was a flat statement without expression. “I am Asenath.”
Joseph motioned for his wife to sit on one of the chairs in the large living space, and he sat directly opposite her.
“When I woke this morning, I had no idea that the king had arranged this marriage. Surely, this is not what you had envisioned for your first day of marriage, a stranger as your husband.”
Asenath’s reply was quick and to the point. “The son of the priest of Thebes was to have been my husband. We would have married at the Feast of Amun in Thebes this year.” Her tone was accusatory, as if to say, “If not for you….”
“I apologize that your plans have been so disrupted. Did you love this man?”
Asenath’s expression seemed to harden as she drew a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Joseph realized as she began speaking that she was exasperated with her situation, at a loss to understand the sudden redirection of events, perhaps even unsure as to which feelings she needed to express. And he could empathize with her in this.
“I am daughter of the chief priest of On. Do you not know that my father would marry me to whomever gave the best offer of money or power?
“When the arrangement was made, I was 16, but the son of the priest was only 14. We were to wait two years, until he came of age. He would have been as much a stranger to me as you are, for I met him only that one time, two years ago.
“But the king made my father a better offer, one he could not refuse, apparently. So here I am. If I have the title of wife, you see that my freedom is less than that of a slave, for they can choose who they marry.”
Realizing that he again had looked at the situation from only his point of view, Joseph replied with genuine sympathy, “Indeed, you have endured much. For a woman of spirit and intelligence to be treated so callously, to be allowed no input as to your future, is cruel.”
Asenath had expected denial of her complaint and insistence that this was the order of the world. Somewhat softened by the calm and sympathetic response, she tried to match her husband’s tone, but her protest was not finished.
“I was to have had a husband who was young, close to my own age.” Again her voice softened to a slightly more conciliatory tone, one that said the situation could have been worse. “At least my father has not sold me to a gray haired old man.”
Joseph could not help but smile, having been condemned by this faint praise. He was at a loss as to how to move forward. Indeed, he seemed to be losing ground.
“Asenath, we are here at this time joined as husband and wife through no fault of our own. We each must satisfy the one to whom we owe our debt, you to your father, and I to the king.
“Tell me what you would desire in a husband, be it the son of the priest or any other man. Be honest with yourself and with me.”
After a moment’s consideration, she sat up more erectly, her head raised higher, to show that she was as firm as her speech. “You ask for truth, then I will speak so.
“I would have a husband who was an Egyptian, not a foreigner from the east.
“And he would be a free man of the noble class, and not a slave.
”And he would have wealth with his position. You did not even have the bride price for my father, but the king had to pay it for you.”
She eyed him up and down and added, “I have heard that you own nothing. Even the clothes you wear have been given to you!”
Raised among the wealthy of Egypt, and having led a sheltered life among those of her own class, Joseph realized that he should not be surprised at her response. And yet he was surprised, and disappointed, as well.
“Thank you for the candor of your response. You have spoken of what you do not desire in a husband, but you have said nothing of the qualities of his person.”
“Am I mistaken, or did I not answer your question truthfully?”
“Being born in another land, or being a slave owned by another, or how much wealth one possesses. none of these speaks to the character of the person.
“My father is comparable to the priest of Thebes, and my status as a slave was the result of time and chance. Your judgment is harsh based only on outward appearances, the place of my birth and my assignment to the class of a slave.
“Truth is a hard thing, and is to be given paired with mercy.” He smiled. “Thanks to my advanced years, the hardness of truth and the gentleness of mercy are things I have come to understand.”
Asenath was somewhat regretful of the harshness of her comments, but she would not back down from them. “You asked for truth, not mercy.”
Nodding, Joseph replied, “So I did.”
He rose from his chair and stepped back a few paces, then stood facing her, his eyes focused on her brown eyes. Beneath the mask of her makeup and adornments, she appeared to be a natural beauty. Her outward appearance was favorable, but his desire was to see her character.
““For now, I have a task to accomplish and I must perform the work that I have been given. Do you have any possessions coming, and perhaps a woman who is your servant or companion?”
“Yes, my father is bringing my clothes and personal items today. He also will bring my companion, Tem. She is only slightly older than I and has been with me for many years.”
“Good. Let us bear this state of marriage for two years, and we will have fulfilled the obligations to your father and to the king. Then we can dissolve the marriage. I understand that this is an easy process, and the wife benefits in accordance to what her husband possesses. Today, I do possess the clothes that I wear, although nothing more. Perhaps in two years there will be something to share with you, for I understand the Egyptian woman receives much when there is a divorce.”
Asenath kept trying to interrupt, and Joseph put a finger on her lips.
”But for now, I ask you to do one thing. Ask your father to tell you of your birth. When you do this, mention the name of Teyma. Your father will understand. Will you do this?”
“Yes, but….”
During this speech, Asenath’s expression had changed. She seemed to be trying to protest, but Joseph continued to speak over her.
“I will return this evening, and we will give the appearance of a married couple. You will tell me how your father has answered your question. For now, I leave you to prepare for your companion and your possessions.”
Asenath spoke his name as if to say something more, but Joseph was already walking toward the door.
“I look forward to seeing you later,” he called as he looked back over his shoulder, and then he turned beyond the doorway and was out of sight.
Joseph proceeded to the area where he and Potiphar were to meet with the other men summoned to plan the strategy for the future.
From Dreams to Plans
Everyone else was present when Joseph arrived. The room was the same room used by the king in meeting with those few who reported directly to him.
Cooling vents low on the wall adjoining the indoor garden brought in air that exited through the high windows on the outer wall. A large table with ten chairs in the center, and several more chairs against the wall, were the primary furnishings. Drawings of gods in various poses, often representing some manifestation of power and victory, adorned the walls.
The men were seated around the table and in deep discussion as Joseph entered. There were three empty chairs. One empty chair was larger and ornate, obviously the king’s place. Captain Potiphar, who occupied the next chair, rose when he saw Joseph enter.
“I am surprised to see you, Joseph. Having been joined to a bride this morning, your absence for the day would have been understood.”
“There is a saying that there is a time and a place for everything under the sun. Here is my place for this time.”
“You will not receive any argument from me. Allow me to introduce you to those you do not know already.
“General Djar you have met.”
The man seated next to Potiphar rose. At first glance - the jet black wig that he wore, along with the eye makeup characteristic of the Egyptians and his impressive military uniform – all gave the man the impression of a dashing young officer. A closer look showed the ravages of time had left its marks in disguised wrinkles and sagging muscle.
The general smiled and nodded, and Joseph responded in kind.
“General Djar has offered the services of Meri-ptah for training and supervision of security for the project. The general will be on alert should larger forces be required.
“Meri-ptah you already know, of course.
“Neferu is over royal construction projects. His second in charge will oversee construction of the vast amount of storage necessary for seven years accumulation of grain.
“Sebek-khu will handle transportation.
“Khusebek will procure the necessary building and transportation materials.”
Each of the men rose and exchanged bows with Joseph as they were introduced.
“Irsu, whom you also know, is chief scribe and will coordinate the necessary record keeping.”
With introductions out of the way, Joseph took the unoccupied chair between across from Potiphar on the other side of the king’s chair.
“We will consider the king to be present whether he is seated in his chair or not,” said Joseph. “Each of us serves at the king’s pleasure, and we will obey his instructions.
“The first order of business is to ensure one-fifth of each harvest goes into storage each of the seven years, and that this supply must remain under the king’s firm control. When the lean years begin, the people in the areas, the mayors of the cities, and the heads of each nome, will look on the food in storage as their own. If any local group takes hold of the storage, the supply will be exhausted before the end of the famine. Permission to release from storage is only according to the king’s order and accomplished only by his representatives.
“With this directive in mind, let us begin.”
The discussion went into well past dark, dinner being served to them while they continued.
The number and locations of the storage sites were established first, and this took the largest part of the time. Irsu’s information on the normal amounts of grain in each region and the location of population centers provided the basis for the decisions.
Once the number and location of the storage centers had been established, plans for the procurement of materials for construction and the necessary transportation arrangements could be determined.
Thus the hours passed, progress gaining momentum as the individuals involved became less concerned with priority for their own areas of interest. Self-interest waned and collaboration waxed.
Joseph adjourned the meeting when, some two hours after dusk, the broad outline of the plan was visible. They resolved to continue with details the next morning after the report to the king.
Truth and Mercy
Joseph had only a short walk to his new residence.
Extra cushions had appeared since his first visit to the great room earlier in the day. Candles had been placed on tables, and with the sconces on the walls added much needed light. A small carpet centered beneath the chairs drew the seating area together. These were the first evidences of the space becoming inhabited.
Asenath occupied the same chair as earlier, apparently waiting for his return. She introduced Tem, a woman with very long black hair, her makeup and dress in a style similar to Asenath’s.
Tem stood and bowed with great respect. “I was keeping Asenath company until your return. I will retire for the night.”
Tem bowed again and went into one of the extra bedrooms.
After only a brief moment’s awkward silence, Asenath made an attempt at conversation with this stranger who was her husband. “Did your meeting go well?”
“Yes. We made progress and will continue tomorrow.” Joseph sat on the chair vacated by Tem. “You have had dinner?”
“Yes,” replied Asenath, her brief response not helpful toward easing the awkwardness of the moment
“I am glad to see that you have added some personality to this great space, to make it more welcoming and comfortable,” said Joseph as he eyed the living space.
“I have begun to do so. There is relatively little that I have to bring, and I understand that your circumstances did not allow an accumulation of goods.” She smiled, more warmly than she had at any point earlier in the day, and added, “So we may have to find some additional items to give this place the character of a home.”
“You have made a good start. Have you ideas on what you would like to have here?”
She laughed. “Of course Tem and I talked about that for quite a while.”
Asenath became more serious. “As you directed, I asked my father about my birth. He started to give me the same story that he had told me long ago, but when I asked how Teyma fit into the narrative, he stopped.
“He grew quite angry, his face very red, and I began to have some fear. He started yelling, refusing to answer, but then he suddenly became quiet. He seemed to grow limp, as if he had surrendered to some powerful force, and I thought he was going to cry.”
She paused. Her voice became very soft as she wiped an unseen tear from her eye.
“He said that there had been no reason for me to know of my birth in the east and that I had been brought to Egypt by the trader, Teyma, who had found me. He had sought to shield me from this and had given me a new identity based on his name.”
Asenath paused, her voice had become shaky and now the tears she had fought to hold back flowed freely.
“I am not who I thought I was,” she sobbed, her voice rising. “I am not certain who I am anymore!”
She was sobbing uncontrollably now, hardly able to breathe. Joseph moved over beside her, squatting next to her and putting his arms around her as she wept in her chair.
“You are Asenath, and you have become the woman of 18 years of age that sits weeping in this chair. Your past has brought you to the person you have become, and you will determine the person you will be in the future.”
Asenath slowly began to calm down, her sobs less violent, her breath returning.
As she sat upright, she pushed Joseph’s arm from around her shoulder. Slowly she looked up at his face through bloodshot eyes, tear streaks bordered with black eye makeup having traced their way down her cheeks.
For a brief moment, Joseph saw her vulnerability and openness as she traversed the space between her old identity as Egyptian noble and her as yet undefined new identity. He longed to help her across the divide, but only she could make the journey.
Her soft expression of only a moment before hardened to anger as she struggled with the events of the day.
“Why did you have to come into my life?” Her voice continued to rise as she moved further from him as if to be better positioned to strike out. “Why could I not just marry the man to whom I was betrothed in Thebes?
“And who are you to reveal secrets that were never meant to come to light? Is that what truth is, the destruction of 18 years of life for some fact that had become irrelevant?”
Joseph remained seated although Asenath had risen and was now standing over him. Her first remarks had been addressed to the universe, but the last were aimed directly at Joseph. The torrent of questions demanded no answers, for she knew there were none. They were protests against what she now knew and could never forget. She railed against this new truth because they had destroyed her foundation leaving her identity buried somewhere in the rubble.
Taking a breath and looking directly at him, she folded her arms as she looked down upon him. “Well, wise Joseph? Have you no response, have you no wisdom for the woman you have laid bare as false?”
She turned and walked away a few steps, then began pacing back and forth, whether to calm herself or to launch again into new charges, Joseph could not tell. Reason was not the solution, a mistake he had made too often. He must assuage her emotions, her feelings of betrayal and fear.
“I apologize for the pain that I have caused. Your life had been on a path of certainty and security, a future you could foretell. You were at peace with what was to be, and I have destroyed that peace.”
Again, Joseph’s display of understanding rather than defensiveness disarmed her, catching Asenath off guard, disarming her of her anger against him to some degree. She continued to pace, but more slowly, clearly calmer than a moment earlier.
Joseph remembered himself at 18. Looking back, he saw the boy with a coat of many colors, a peacock strutting through the fields, oblivious to the realities of the people and world around him. Until today, Asenath had been like that boy strutting through the fields, full of her image of herself and lacking any larger perspective.
“You are a beautiful woman of great intelligence. If learning of your past has destroyed the predictability of your future, will you not rise and make your new future a better one?”
She paused in her pacing, turning squarely to face Joseph. “Tell me – how am I to do that?” Her tone was more defiance than a plea.
In the midst of her uncertainty, she wavered between the identity that no longer fit and the identity that was as yet unknown. Joseph could see that fear, a violent and unpredictable emotion, dominated.
“Truth and mercy are paired together for a reason. Truth is hard, and no truth could be harder than the one you have discovered.
“Mercy for yourself is the antidote for this truth. What you know now empowers you to a greater understanding of yourself and other people. And as you extend mercy to yourself, you will find the extension of mercy to others to flow more easily.”
She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
Joseph realized that he had again gone to the logic of the situation with his talk of truth and mercy. How long had it taken him to discover his new identity? And that discovery had come less through rationality than the emotions engendered by his experiences. He thought particularly of the first week with Teyma, the surreal experiences that had fueled discovery of who Joseph had been and was to become. What would be Asenath’s path to self-discovery?
“Our identity is the work of a lifetime,” replied Joseph. “A small part of your identity has been undermined by your new knowledge. You feel as though the legs on which you were standing have been pulled from beneath you.”
Joseph stood and walked to stand beside her, not in front of her.
“You feel betrayed and alone, as if your past has been false.
“Your father concealed your past to protect you, to allow you to grow in a richer field to the fully formed flower that you are.
“The truth has been made known to you. You were protected from this knowledge until you were ready to become the bloom intended from the beginning.
“Truth has enlarged your borders, and mercy will soften its edges.”
Facing the wall and with Joseph beside her, Asenath wiped tears from both sides of her face.
“You speak so calmly of something that is so – so devastating, terrifying.”
“Only because I have been where you are now. And I will warn you, that the transition from who you were to who you will be is not accomplished in a day but in a lifetime.” He winced at himself for this less than reassuring truth.
Although tinged with some bitterness, Asenath laughed for the first time. “Is that supposed to be encouraging?”
“I should have said that you soon will find peace with the new person you are becoming and left it at that.”
“I will take that thought. It sounds like truth tempered with mercy.” At last, there was the hint of a smile.
She finally turned to face Joseph. “The most terrifying thing is that I can never go back to who I was. Now that I know, things can never be the same between me and my father, or even between me and my intended husband who I met only the one time. It would all seem false.”
“That is what a lie does,” said Joseph, as he reached across and placed a hand on each of her shoulders. “It shows us a false world, and we adapt to the lie. Adjusting to truth is hard, but that is only temporary. Already you are becoming confident as the person you know yourself to be.
“Who we are inside is a truth that cannot be shaken by the truths we learn as we go through life. We are constantly adapting as we incorporate new truths, and we grow to be the people God intends for us to become.”
She removed his hands from her shoulders and took her hands, holding them gently in the space between where they stood.
“Joseph, I am tired. I do not think I can take any more truth today. Can we save new truths for tomorrow and just go to sleep?”
“Of course. This has been a day full to overflowing.”
Joseph walked with her toward the room where their mats and light covering lay joined together. When he saw them, he said, “I will bring my mat out here.”
“Thank you,” she said, her voice conveying her tiredness.
Only moments were required for Joseph to move the necessary items into the great room for him to sleep. The ventilation and high ceilings maintained a comfortable temperature in the apartment, only barely on the warm side. This would be sufficient for the night. Besides, he could not very well go alone to the roof on his wedding night.
He arranged the mat so that he could see the stars above through the high windows. In spite of the hour and all of the activities of the day, sleep did not come quickly.
His mind kept jumping tracks, unable to focus on either the grain storage issue or his sudden move to freedom and then marriage. And turning off all thought was impossible.
He began to focus on how to integrate the two halves of his life so that he was present to the appropriate half when he was in that arena. Thinking of his life as two halves suddenly appeared as the absurdity that it was. Clarity struck like a slap on the side of his head.
He was a single person created by God. The command had been to be joined together so that they become one, become a single whole. His physical body, his mind, and his relationship with God had become one. This was necessary with Asenath, as well. Now he had the opportunity to create the larger wholeness that was to be Joseph, son of Israel.
This turned out to answer the question of sleep because the next thing he knew was that he opened his eyes to a room already bathed in the sun’s light.
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